


Hello My Name Is...

by ElizaDarling



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Based off of Bridgit Mendler's album, Drabble Collection, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Songfic, Too much Ameripan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-10-09
Packaged: 2017-12-27 22:23:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/984301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizaDarling/pseuds/ElizaDarling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whether you're a blonde, whether you're down on your luck and need to remember you're the city lights... whether all you see is gold, or whether you're so confused you feel like you're in a hurricane-love finds a way. Love tells you where to go. This is how Kiku, Gilbert, Alfred, Matthew, Arthur, Francis, Ludwig, Feliciano, Roderich, and Elizaveta find and lose different types of love and, ultimately, find themselves along the way. Drabblefic based off of Bridgit Mendler's album, Hello My Name Is...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ready or Not

**Author's Note:**

> Eliza here, and I'm officially a college student! I know, I can hardly believe it myself. And, because I love all these different pairings in Hetalia, and I love Bridgit Mendler (and her awesome music), I've decided to do drabbles based off all the songs in her album Hello My Name Is... Also, I recommend listening to the album before reading (preferably acoustically, since she sings way better live). While half of them are (admittedly) Ameripan, there's also Prupan, PruCan, FrUK, GerIta, and AusHun to keep your attention (I think). Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, all history would be related to romance (except wars. Wars aren't sexy). Also, I don't own Bridgit Mendler or Bridgit Mendler's music, but I sing along to it into my hairbrush with pride.
> 
> Pairing: Ameripan

_**Hello My Name Is…** _

**Track 1: "Ready or Not"**

" _Ready or not, here I come, here I come_

_You're like a breath of fresh air in my lungs_

_You and me dance from the night 'till the dawn_

_Ready or not here I come, boy it's on…"_

Usually he was the one to sit on the sidelines, just watching people go out from his spot on the couch. He held people's drinks while they mingled. He held back long hair when the girls were too sick to do it themselves. He watched purses and watched his life go by passively.

He was the designated driver—not by necessity, but by choice.

 _This time, though,_  Kiku thought to himself as he looked at how much  _fun_  everyone was having at this party,  _this time, I'm going to have fun alongside them._  Maybe not to the point of being completely intoxicated and he couldn't remember things, but he at least wanted to  _dance_  with his friends.

And maybe…

Maybe find someone…?

Was his need to finally have someone to like that obvious? Kiku wondered as he kept a lookout for that distinctive sandy blond hair. Hm… no one else seemed to notice he was looking for that person… That one he'd caught staring at him from across the room for a brief moment.

The one who seemed to disappear just after Kiku blushed and noticed that blond hair and those piercing blue eyes.

And it wasn't that Kiku  _had_  to see him like his life depended on it. No. This person was going to be the catalyst for this change in attitude. He was the reason Kiku wanted to stand up from the sidelines in the first place. Maybe that's why he just  _liked_  him so much, even just from a stare. Kiku liked him so much he felt like he was the honey and he was the bee, following him to see and hear something sweet…

If he could find him, that is.

Getting up from his spot on Gilbert's worn out couch, Kiku started going on the prowl for that blond hair, tired of sitting. After all those times of just watching and listening and not  _doing_ , he was finally taking initiative.

All in the act of just finding that one special person.

_Where are you? The night is young…_

Wandering, looking… he  _would_  find this person. He had to talk to him, had to tell him that he was tired of just sitting out. He was emerging from a shell he'd holed himself into all those times, at all those parties he attended. Finally he was growing a spine, and he was going to tell him how he really felt.

Not love at first sight, mind you. But  _like_  at first sight. That was a possibility, wasn't it?

And no matter what, whether or not this person wanted him or not, at least Kiku  _told_  him.

After what seemed like an hour of looking through the huge crowd and pounding music (really, it'd only been fifteen minutes, but when Kiku was looking for him so desperately time seemed to go even slower), Kiku practically grinned from ear to ear as he noticed the blond pouring himself a helping of the incredibly spiked punch.

_Ready or not, here I come…_

"Hi," Kiku said before he could tell himself that maybe this wasn't the best idea.

Luckily (or rather, miraculously), the blond looked over at Kiku and practically grinned from ear to ear, making Kiku's heart stop a moment. "Hey," he replied casually, leaning against the table.

Great, what now…? Introduce himself…? "Hello, my name is…" Shit, he'd already said hi! The other would think he was such a spaz…! "… Kiku," he made himself finish.

Nodding, the blond held out his hand. "Alfred," he replied, like he hadn't noticed Kiku's mouth screwing up his introduction.

Kiku nodded as well and took Alfred's hand. It was so warm… "Nice to meet you." By this point, his cheeks were hurting he was smiling so much. He didn't care if it was just an introduction—he'd actually done something productive…! Something that he didn't particularly do because he  _wanted_  to. But here… God, did he want to. No one captivated Kiku's attention like Alfred just did. No one made Kiku  _want_  to socialize.

And Kiku certainly didn't  _crush_  on anyone. But right now… Kiku felt like a schoolgirl, giggling at anything Alfred told him.

"How is that…?" Kiku asked, gesturing to the punch in Alfred's hand.

"Vile." Alfred grinned again. "I'm just holding it, I guess. I definitely don't feel like finishing it."

"So you're just holding it to make it seem like you're having a good time…?" Kiku guessed.

"Who says I'm not having a good time?" Was it just Kiku, or did Alfred move closer to him when he said that? "My night just got a whole lot better, actually."

Blushing profusely at that, Kiku just gave a nervous chuckle. His throat grew dry; what did he want to do again…?

Alfred didn't mean what he just said…

… did he?

Placing the punch down, Alfred shrugged and held out his hand again. "Hey, I know I just met you but… do you want to dance?"

Kiku noticed that there really  _was_  music going on in the room. He couldn't hear it over the sound of his heart thumping wildly in his chest.

"It'll be fun," Alfred insisted after a moment.

At that, Kiku cleared his throat and found his voice again, then took Alfred's warm hand in his own. "I'd love to, Alfred."

_We'll dance from dusk until dawn…._

_**Hello My Name Is… Kiku.** _


	2. Forgot to Laugh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /laughs/ Did I ever tell you I suck at coming up with original titles or ideas...? Because I do. A lot.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Because I can't think up anything half as awesome as Bridgit Mendler's album or Hetalia. I just have to keep writing these disclaimers until I write a story that's not based off a song or a godforsaken album (which is never going to happen, BTW).
> 
> Pairing: Prupan

_**Hello My Name Is…** _

**Track 2: "Forgot to Laugh"**

" _If it's goodbye today_

_Know you're leaving here empty handed_

' _Cause I've got my own life and you're just a punch line_

_So if you go, you're a joke_

_But I forgot to laugh…"_

"Quit being so needy, Kiku." Gilbert scowled at him. Kiku could read that face like a screen door; he was just being his usual stubborn self and Gilbert wasn't going to tell him anything, he knew. "You're just like a kid that needs his candy. "I'm heading out with Francis and Tonio, 'kay? You should stop getting your panties in such a twist."

Fists clenched at his sides, Kiku knew that he couldn't take it anymore. Gilbert made him so angry; Kiku could just read through that heart of his and knew that they both just didn't like each other anymore. It'd taken him so long to realize there was so much more out there for him…! He had his whole life ahead of him; he didn't need Gilbert dictating his every move. In fact, seeing him being so controlling, though they both knew their relationship was hanging on like a thread… it was kind of cute, actually.

Like the kid that told unfunny jokes, but you laughed anyway because you felt so bad for him.

Kiku had to be strong. And he was about to be independent. He needed to say this now, before Gilbert left. Because the time he came back, Kiku would be gone.

Didn't help the fact that Kiku wanted to say this all to Gilbert's face. He wanted to have the last word.

Not the last laugh.

"When you drive away, I hope you get a flat tire and you're stranded because you don't have signal and you're all alone in the car," Kiku spat back, brows furrowing. "I hope no one comes by to help you."

" _What?_ " Gilbert demanded, incredulous.

"You heard me," Kiku replied, his heart beating so fast. But he had to say the rest. "When you leave to hang out with you're friends, know that it's over between us. I'm saying goodbye. And you won't have anything left. I'm my own person, Gilbert—I have my own life and I need to take charge of it. And I know what you're going to do after this. You're going to beg for me to take you back. You've done that every other time we've gotten in a rut like this before. You're a  _punch line_ , Gilbert. You're a joke, only I forgot to laugh."

Neither of them moved. Neither of them  _wanted_  to make a move, because Kiku wanted Gilbert to leave first. After all, this was  _Kiku's_  house. He was the one who was staying here.

"I am  _not_  a joke!" Gilbert cried. Instead of making a lunge at Kiku, and instead of having the decency to look  _hurt_ , he looked like his pride had been wounded.

"Yes you are," Kiku affirmed calmly, his fists not clenching as hard anymore. "I know what's going to happen after this—you're going to tell everyone you broke up with me, like  _I'm_  the one begging to be with you. But we both know the truth, and that's all I need. Every feeble attempt you make trying to bandage up your ego just makes you look more pathetic."

Kiku watched Gilbert swallow a lump. He had no idea what to say, Kiku knew.

"I don't hate you," Kiku assured, continuing. "I'm never  _going_  to hate you. There was a point where I did love you, but we both know that's been stale for quite some time now. I'm just done pretending to be silent. I'm done pretending to be the person who's going to stick beside you no matter how much you treat me like a doormat. I deserve much better for myself. Now please… I'd like you to get out of my house."

Gilbert was so awestruck he stayed silent. All he did was turn on his hell, and slowly, silently, make his way out.

Kiku didn't laugh, no matter how silly Gilbert looked with nothing to say.

_**Hello My Name Is… Kiku.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha ha ha, I'm so original...
> 
> I swear the next one doesn't end with Kiku's name.
> 
> Still has to do with him, though.
> 
> I'm not sorry.
> 
> Reviews? I don't beg for 'em, people, but they do make me feel like people are reading my stuff at least.
> 
> ~Eliza


	3. Top of the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I ever mention how perfect Ameripan is? They're so, so perfect. You can't convince me otherwise.
> 
> Disclaimer: You already know. /creys over not owning Ameripan
> 
> Pairing: Ameripan
> 
> Warning: I go off too much on how much they're in love. You can't stop me.

_**Hello My Name Is…** _

**Track 3: "Top of the World"**

" _Take the rope and climb_

_Close your eyes_

_Love will take you high_

_We'll be sitting on top of the world_

_Baby, you and I were born to rise_

_So just hold on tight_

_And we'll be sitting on top of the world."_

Alfred didn't think Kiku realized just how special he was to him. If Kiku called him at four in the morning Alfred would pick up his phone, no questions asked. He'd always be there for him. He'd always support him, no matter what.

Didn't Kiku notice just how much Alfred loved him? His heart always beat a little faster; his breathing got a bit shallower. So he'd have to show Kiku just what he meant to him. He had to show him that there was much more he felt.

Alfred always assumed Kiku was the one who thought  _he_  was the only one who was really falling. That he made a bunch of mistakes.

But to be honest, Kiku could do no wrong in Alfred's eyes. Alfred loved how shy he was, and how much he wanted to say the right thing but he didn't always… He noticed the little things like that, and instead of feeling like Kiku was a spaz (though Kiku liked to think that's what Alfred thought), Alfred found it absolutely adorable and only made him fall harder.

"Please, baby, you know that you're the most amazing person in the world…" Alfred begged, holding a loving hand out for Kiku to take. "Why not risk it all? You should stop trying to think about what I think about you. You know what I think? I think everything you do makes me love you more. Let's just take a risk, totally get lost in each other. Nothing matters anymore, baby, nothing but  _you_. You know the last thing I would ever do is make you feel like you're less than amazing."

Kiku bit the corner of his lip, looking aside for a moment. Alfred loved the way Kiku looked when he did that…

Closing his eyes, Kiku took Alfred's hand and rested against him. Alfred sighed a breath of relief, glad that they were going to be in this together. "I love you…" Kiku whispered, nuzzling Alfred's chest gently.

_Take the rope and climb…_

"I love you too, baby," Alfred replied, kissing the top of Kiku's head. "I love you so much…"

_Love can take you to so many places, places you didn't even know existed…_

Alfred closed his eyes as well, just holding Kiku in his arms. In their minds, though, they were climbing so, so high together. Now that Kiku had let go, he wasn't scared of how high they were going together.

"I feel like I'm on top of the world…" Kiku whispered, smiling. Alfred couldn't help but grin as well. Kiku was so much more free and open when he stopped worrying so much. This was the side of Kiku that Alfred loved the most, the side that wasn't afraid to try new things and didn't care what he did or said because deep down he  _knew_  that Alfred didn't mind it at all.

Alfred had known for a while that Kiku  _wanted_  to let go of his worries, but he just didn't know how. Not without persuasion, that is. To be honest, Alfred wished he could do it on his own, but it was nice to feel like Kiku needed him just as he needed Kiku. One couldn't be complete without the other. And the best part was, they both knew it and embraced it.

"I love you," Alfred repeated, keeping his eyes closed. It was nice to imagine where they were now, sitting on top of the world and just letting it go by without a care in the world.

He felt so complete. And he knew that Kiku felt the same way as well.

Love could take you anywhere. Even on top of the world.

_**Hello My Name Is… Alfred.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, told you it wasn't Kiku's name at the end. Still had everything to do with him, though. And it's Ameripan next chapter, just another heads up.


	4. Hurricane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I've definitely wanted to do something based off of "Hurricane" with Ameripan, but never got around to it. So here is is, a drabble. Because if you don't understand how perfect they are to me, then you'd better damn well start trying to, at least.
> 
> Disclaimer: /creys
> 
> Pairing: Ameripan

_**Hello My Name Is…** _

**Track 4: "Hurricane"**

" _Every time he smiles I let him in again_

_Everything is fine when you're standing in the eye of the hurricane…"_

Kiku didn't think he could be in such a dynamic relationship, but he was surprised just how many emotions ran through him on a daily basis when he was with Alfred. He felt like he was in a storm, being tossed around by his own heart. Just the thought of Alfred could make Kiku's mind clouded and clogged. Just thinking about how much he loved Alfred could make him cry.

Kiku knew a train had hit him when he fell in love with Alfred. His heart ached so much when it came to Alfred… not out of sadness, but just out of how much he  _loved_  him. It made him flop down on his bed and scream into a pillow. It made him feel like he kept being sucked into a hurricane of emotions and he couldn't stop every one of them hitting him at over a hundred miles an hour.

Oh, sometimes he wished he could shift out those emotions. Sometimes he wished that he could board up the windows to his heart and throw away the keys to the lock and just stop  _feeling_  so much all at once, just for Alfred. His heart literally  _ached_  when he thought of him sometimes. He couldn't help it all. He could roll on his bed and cry all he wanted over it, but it didn't help the fact that he loved Alfred enough to feel like he was stuck in some watery vortex for hours at a time.

Then again, isn't that what love was about? Wasn't it about feeling so much all at once, for one person that just changed your life so much…? That someone who always crashed down those boards and somehow attained the keys to your seemingly unattainable heart? Kiku certainly started to realize that's what being with Alfred was  _supposed_  to feel for him. It was so different… So different than with anyone else he was with prior, anyway…

But… if Alfred was the only one that made Kiku feel like this, didn't that in theory mean that he was the only one Kiku truly, madly, deeply loved with all his heart? Didn't that mean that Kiku had finally found the person on the other end of the red string?

"Hey, I'm home!" Alfred announced, breaking Kiku out of his thoughts briefly. He gave Alfred his obligatory greeting kiss and helped him settle in after being out for a few hours.

When Alfred smiled at him, when all was said and done… Kiku literally felt like he was calm. Like he was standing in the eye of that hurricane of emotions that seemed to pass through him the rest of the day. When Alfred smiled at him, Kiku let all his defenses down and let him in again and again. Just looking at Alfred would make Kiku instantly feel so much better…

He was floating in that eye… Alfred was the hurricane, Kiku realized, always making him feel so unsure. Yet in that eye, everything was clear. Everything Alfred did just made Kiku feel so new, like he'd never knew what love was until they met.

Kiku didn't know when he was going to drop, when he was going to be flung from the hurricane and back to his usual, sure self.

Maybe… just maybe… he didn't want to drop. Maybe he wanted to stay in not only the eye, but the whole being of the hurricane—of  _Alfred_.

Whether it was the eye, whether it was just that whole wind of emotions sweeping him off his feet, Kiku knew one thing for certain.

He sure as hell was never going to let Alfred go.

_**Hello My Name Is… Kiku.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Kay, I promise the next one isn't Ameripan. I promise it also has nothing to do with Al or Kiku, too. I'm also not sorry that there's so much Ameripan here.


	5. City Lights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, told you it wasn't going to be Ameripan. I don't really write PruCan, but this was a lot of fun~ That and I really like this one, too. I think while I was writing this I really realized just how much PruCan just fits with this song, so that was fun to discover.
> 
> Disclaimer: No, I don't own Hetalia. Or Bridgit Mendler's music.
> 
> Pairing: PruCan

_**Hello My Name Is…** _

**Track 5: "City Lights"**

" _And every time that you fade into the night_

_Just remember you're the fire_

_You're the city lights_

_So shine into the night…"_

Gilbert had never been one to be the overly caring type, even toward the people with which he'd built romantic relationships. Every time he tried saying something nice and inspirational to comfort them he ended up just making a huge fool of himself and tripped himself over a string of curse words (sometimes in German, sometimes in English, depending on just how angry he was). Being comforting just wasn't really his thing.

So of course when Matt came into the house with a sigh instead of a smile, Gilbert knew something was up. Pursing his lips, he kept his distance for a few minutes as Matt started to stalk around the house. Gilbert watched and observed, wishing he had good intuition as to what was going on, but with Matt, he felt like he was trying to read an incoherent Pictionary solution—something messy. The answer was there; he just couldn't see it.

And of course, whenever Matt was feeling down, the first thing he did was… make a batch of pancakes and douse them in what seemed like a gallon of maple syrup. Comfort food, Gilbert guessed (as his own comfort food was wurst and beer, just like West). He decided he should still keep his distance. Never had he seen Matt actually  _snap_  at him, but he sure as hell wasn't going to try and find out what that was like.

And yeah, sure he wasn't the most comforting person, but at least he was  _understanding_  enough. He understood that when Matt was down, he should keep his distance a bit, until he'd calmed down a few hairs. Matt was the type of person to fume silently to himself, and Gilbert felt partially responsible for this, because the last time he tried to comfort him he'd ended up getting a door slammed in his face, practically on his nose. And yeah, Matt knew Gilbert's intentions were good, but Gilbert accidentally made things worse more than better.

But he tried.

Lord knows he tried.

So tonight, he did follow the rules, and he did try and be good. But even still, Gilbert felt so useless. Shouldn't he be there for his boyfriend when he was down? He knew he wasn't the best when it came to comfort—hell, he was worse at comforting than  _Alfred_ , of all people—but he felt he at least had to try, one last time.

So he thought. He plotted. He observed Matt's body language from afar, just how tired his body looked and how worn out he seemed.

And that's when he got it. He figured out what happened, why he was so upset.

"Who was it?" Gilbert asked, sitting next to Matt on the couch as Matt proceeded to stuff his face with as many overly doused pancakes as he could.

After a few moments, Matt swallowed and looked over at Gilbert, sighing dejectedly. "Arthur,  _again_. It's like all he cares about is Alfred. Al doesn't even care about him as much anymore! Al's too busy trying to make Kiku happy that it takes up all his time and all his thought…" he ranted, stabbing another pancake and ripping it between his teeth.

Swallowing hard, Gilbert tried to think of something… anything that he could say. He did know what it was like to feel invisible, to feel like no one saw him. To feel like they forgot him in the shadow of his younger, more powerful brother…

What did he do in those times? Back before it didn't get to him so much, and back when he wished he could yell out and just scream, " _I'm here!"_  He had to think about it…

The moments passed, and though he was sure Matt probably thought Gilbert forgot, he was actually trying to access how he used to cope with the situation.

Finally, Gilbert wrapped an arm around Matt's shoulders and hugged him close. "Hey, come with me. We're not going to leave the house or anything, but I want you to see this…"

Complying, Matt nodded, setting his plate of half-eaten pancakes on the coffee table. Gilbert stood him up slowly and led him to the window, the one that overlooked the city in the distance. Little, bright lights shone in the background, and Gilbert could tell that Matt was already feeling transfixed by them.

"Tell me what you feel," he said, trying to empathize. He was sure he could, to some extent.

Matt sighed that same sigh he'd greeted Gilbert with when he walked in. "I feel like I'm calling out to someone,  _anyone_ , and I feel like my voice is so small… No one ever listens to me. Not  _papa_ , not Al… certainly not Arthur," he explained. "I feel like that white elephant in the room that no one ever wants to address 'cause they don't know what to do with me… I want to pilot my own life, you know? I don't want anything else steering me in a path I don't want to go down…" He looked down, but Gilbert made him look back at the lights.

"Trust me when I say… I've been there," Gilbert replied softly, resting his head in the crook of Matt's neck. "I know what it's like to feel like you don't have a voice in anything anymore, and people start forgetting about how you are and what you stand for…"

So far, so good… Matt was listening intently, doing as Gilbert asked.

So he continued. "You know what I used to do? I used to look up at the stars, or at the city lights… I can't really explain it, but it just makes me feel like I'm here, you know? Wherever I am, wherever I go… I think about the city lights shining into the night when I feel down and out of luck. Because… yeah, I know it's going to sound weird, but when I lose myself in them, when I stare at them… I feel myself  _becoming_ like them, if that makes sense…" This was where it got weird, but this was personal to him. This was how he used to cope with feeling like he was nothing…

He pictured himself, brighter than any of those lights in the distance. In doing that, he felt like he  _was_  there, like he could do anything, because the lights affirmed his own existence. They made him feel like he was  _important_.

And he knew how silly it probably sounded to other people. But to someone like Matt, someone he really related to… Well, Matt deserved to know everything about him. He deserved more than how he was treated. He deserved to be brighter than those city lights.

"That… that actually helped a  _lot_ ," Matt finally admitted after a minute. Gilbert looked up and observed Matt's profile; his eyes seemed so lost in the lights, they were practically glowing themselves. He not only  _understood_  what Gilbert meant… he was actually  _experiencing_ it for himself.

Gilbert felt a breath catch in his throat.  _No one_ , not even West, knew what it was like to feel like he didn't belong anywhere.

No one but Matt.

Kissing Matt's neck softly, Gilbert smirked and pulled him into an embrace. " _Ich liebe dich…"_ he whispered.

" _Je t'aime…_ " Matt whispered back. God, after so long trying to comfort him, Gilbert had  _finally_  broken through to him, made him feel better about himself.

And he should. Matt was a great guy, certainly the greatest Gilbert had ever been with. He was sweet, kind, understanding, and, well…

He was Gilbert's city lights, cheesy as the thought was.

But he would keep that last part to himself, because he knew if he told Matt it'd just get him a playful whack on the head.

_**Hello My Name Is… Gilbert.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, like I said, there would be more pairings than this. Stay tuned, because next is FrUK, another one of my favorite pairings!
> 
> Reviews? How am I doing so far, especially with this chapter?
> 
> Till then,
> 
> ~Eliza


	6. All I See Is Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm a sadist. I love making my main characters suffer... Does that make me a bad person?
> 
> Also I think I'm starting to hate Arthur. Blame the fandom for making him such a slut when he's actually a BAMF in some respects.
> 
> And I will always be on the side of FrUK. And no, he doesn't leave Francis for Al at the end of this.
> 
> Al is with Kiku. Duh.
> 
> Drabble is slightly based off the movie Blue Jasmine. If you haven't seen that yet, you should. It's a really good movie, albeit pretty depressing.
> 
> Disclaimer: Ha. If I owned anything I wouldn't be a broke college student.
> 
> Pairing: FrUK

_**Hello My Name Is…** _

**Track 6: "All I See is Gold"**

" _Of all the people passing, your face appears in every one I see_

_But you're not with me…"_

* * *

In this sea of flowers, Arthur sighed at the card in his hands.

" _Je t'aime, mon petit lapin._

_I am sorry we cannot be together on our anniversary, but alas—! Duty calls, this time by the sea._

_Avec amour,_

_Francis"_

Typical. So typical. It was so typical Arthur couldn't even bring himself to feel anything anymore. He didn't feel remorse or sadness, didn't even have the energy to feel angered or infuriated. Who knows where Francis went in these hours that Arthur now had by himself? Arthur didn't even have the strength to  _want_  to know now. Dejected, he set the vase of flowers (filled with his favorites, he noticed) on the glass table with the gold accents and took a seat in the fancy chair on his end.

Burying his head in his hands, Arthur evaluated his lover's actions and why he tolerated them. Why  _did_  he allow Francis to leave him here, holed up in this beautiful prison like a tiny rabbit in its cage? Looking up, he noticed his surroundings and shivered, though the heater was most certainly on and warming up the room.

Because Francis made up for it. Oh, he  _definitely_  made up for it. Not just in his actions when he returned, but with  _things_. Business trip? Francis got the hand painted porcelain Arthur had been eyeing in the finest china shop across town. Working extra hours in the office? That had bought Arthur golden utensils for said china on which he was currently eating.

He had no appetite, however. He felt so empty, so hollow after being left alone with his thoughts for so long.

In the small box dangling from the card, Arthur opened it, against his better judgment. Inside the robin's blue box, seated comfortably in tissue paper, were the most exquisite diamond cufflinks money could possibly buy.

Swallowing, Arthur slowly set the box down and slumped in his seat.

Oh, Francis asked for nothing in return for these lavish gifts. He always prided Arthur in never saying anything about his absences.

But the only reason why Arthur kept his mouth shut was because he felt guilty. Or rather, he used to. He didn't have the slightest clue as to how he felt now.

He felt guilty for chiding Francis about his whereabouts when Francis just gave him  _so much_.

But… so much  _what_? What did Francis give Arthur,  _really_?

China plates. Diamond cufflinks. Golden utensils. A sea of flowers.

 _Things_. Material artifacts Arthur could easily throw away. Just like he'd thrown away caring about where Francis was.

For all he knew, Francis could be fucking his secretary—and Arthur would still stay silent, because he couldn't bring himself to feel anything anymore.

No pain. No sadness.

He was so hollow…

Oh sure, in the beginning, there was passion. Arthur and Francis would get into heated arguments, Francis would buy something exquisite to shut Arthur up, Arthur would feel guilty for questioning Francis in the first place, repeat, ad nauseum.

Arthur was so tired of it, he just  _stopped caring_  altogether.

It was easier than feeling guilty half the time, anyway.

In the beginning, Francis would hold his hand, would kiss him, and Arthur would feel like he was on top of the world, that he had found someone so wonderful and perfect for him and everything was right in the world.

Now, when Arthur took his hand, it felt so cold. Like nothing. Like he was holding hands with a ghost.

Oh, he still thought of Francis, of course. In fact, he'd become so paranoid he thought he saw his face in practically every blond man he laid his eyes on. But then he shook it off. That was  _impossible_.

Sighing again, Arthur leaned back in his seat and pursed his lips, looking at his surroundings and really observing them.

All of it, from the doorknobs to the utensils, to the accents on every piece of furniture… All of it was  _gold_. The color of wealth.

The color Arthur had become so accustomed to in his hours here alone.

It was all Arthur saw anymore, definitely more than Francis, anyway. Maybe he did love him, maybe at one point in the middle of the arguments and the gifts and the making up… But now…

So alone…

So cold…

So surrounded by a warm, rich color that just made him feel even more hollow…

_All I see is gold…._

_**Hello My Name Is… Arthur.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, the ending is kind of based off of the scene in The House on Mango Street after Sally gets married and she's admiring being enclosed in her apartment, where she can't leave. Yeah, her husband gets her trapped pretty well.
> 
> Same kind of goes for Arthur when it comes to Francis, n'est-ce pas?
> 
> Also, heads up: next three chapters are going to be Ameripan.
> 
> Deal with it~


	7. The Fall Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy hell, it's been a long time since I've used country names to refer to these characters... (the last time being in the epic threesome: "The Sensuality of Imperfection"). While this isn't as awkward as sex between three countries, it's still countries falling in love with each other.
> 
> Then again it's Ameripan, so I can't complain.
> 
> That's how you spell "perfection," BTW: "Ameripan." Yep.
> 
> Disclaimer: If you don't know by now, shame on you.
> 
> Pairing: Ameripan

_**Hello My Name Is…** _

**Track 7: "The Fall Song"**

" _There'll never be a rhyme or reason for when it rolls around to this season_

_When all the leaves start their turning and you start to burn again in my brain_

_I'm falling for you, I'm falling…"_

The hardest thing about long distance relationships, especially when involved with other countries, was being away from them for a few months, despite the fact that you were immortal and had been around for literally thousands of years.

When you were in love, a few months away from your lover felt like a lifetime.

Am  _I falling in love?_  Japan kept asking himself as he took a seat on the bench just outside his house. He'd just gotten back from work and had changed into a yukata. Pochi perched himself on his owner's lap, and Japan stroked his fur absently as he contemplated the question.

Closing his eyes a moment, he thought of the last time he saw America—his birthday, July 4th. It was October now, fall. Three months.

Three months he'd been away from his lover. It shouldn't seem like that long—after all, three months compared to how long Japan had been around was barely any time at all. But every minute he was away from America, well… Japan just thought about him more when he wasn't around.  _Nothing_  seemed right when they were away from each other. Japan would reflect on those times in the previous fall, when they'd hold hands and walk together, America carelessly kicking the red, yellow, and brown leaves up a few centimeters in the air before they fell back. They didn't talk much, but when they did, it was mostly about being together, living together. Much as Japan would have loved that, it was just an impossible concept. His country needed him, and vice versa for America.

Japan's mind wandered to when they'd just be together in the house. Didn't matter which one they were at. No matter what America would hold him to his chest and occasionally kiss his neck, which made Japan blush, but he felt like America was protecting him like a warm blanket. Sometimes, in these moments he was alone, he'd remember that feeling… but he'd soon remember that America wasn't with him, and that just affirmed how much Japan wanted him around, though he didn't always care to admit it.

Dozens of times he'd pick up the phone and think about calling America, just to hear his voice… Sure, they talked when they could, given the time difference between Tokyo and LA, or DC, or wherever America happened to be in his country… But he was probably busy with his duties, Japan would tell himself, and he'd put the phone back on the receiver with red cheeks and a dejected sigh of both relief and woe.

Fall… the season of impending death, as opposed to spring, which was new life. Japan hated the fact that he believed so many superstitions (blame China)… America probably didn't sit out in his backyard and look at the leaves falling from the trees. He was too impatient and irrational to do something so mundane. But Japan would come out here and just think about the season, about his lover… All of it was affecting him so much.

It'll get better in November, Prussia had told him with a shrug. But Prussia didn't have as many duties as Japan; he could see Canada whenever he wanted…

Japan felt like he was getting a bit obsessed with this, as well. He kept thinking about America, kept seeing him in everything and everyone despite the fact that he was back home now…

Okay, so maybe he was in love. Maybe he was  _insanely_  in love. Maybe the thought of being away from America for so long really  _was_ affecting him.

He couldn't help it; when Japan fell in love (which had only happened twice before in his life: with the Netherlands and, regrettably, Prussia), he fell  _hard_. Despite the fact that no one could really read his expressions, Japan himself knew the signs.

The blue in the sky reminded him of the sky blue in America's bright eyes… The crisp, yellow leaves that fell to the ground reminded him of that soft, sandy hair he loved to stroke his fingers through…

Maybe Japan wasn't that far from America, then, if he could feel that presence wherever he went.

Maybe he just had to accept the fact that he was falling in love as fast as these leaves were falling to the ground…

_I'm falling in love with you…_

_I'm falling for you…._

_**Hello My Name Is… Kiku.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I ship Netherpan and Prupan, too. Why didn't I use Greece, you ask?
> 
> Ew.
> 
> Yeah, if there's a pairing I can't stand more than USUK, it's Giripan.
> 
> Because America and Japan were meant to fall in love with each other, yeah?
> 
> Hey, you have your perfect fictional world; let me live in mine.
> 
> /creys


	8. Love Will Tell Us Where to Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is easily my favorite song on this album. I also love how Bridgit plays it live acoustically; it gives the song much more intimacy than the pop version, I think. Ameripan is always on my mind when I hear this song, and this is what goes through it when it's on. In a way, this was really hard to write because I wanted to make it way longer than it actually is (seriously, the premise of two lovers running away together could be its own multi-chapter fanfic itself), and I think that's why it took me so long to post it. That, and I'm working on about five other things at once. But here it is, in all its wonderful glory.
> 
> Also, I really, really wish that you, the reader, would listen to the song before reading this chapter. It's seriously the new "Everytime We Touch," in that it'll probably apply to your OTP, no matter what it is.
> 
> Disclaimer: Gah. If only. I just love Ameripan so much it hurts. And it hurts more at the realization that I don't own them.
> 
> Also, last chance to listen to the song. Just putting it out there.

_**Hello My Name Is…** _

**Track 8: "Love Will Tell Us Where to Go"**

" _Take on the world; let's go crazy_

_Love will tell us where to go_

_I'll be your girl; be my baby_

_Love will tell us where to go_

_Oh, oh, oh, through a dark night_

_Oh, oh, oh, without a sunrise_

_Oh, oh, oh, and we will be all right_

_Love will tell us where to go…"_

"Let's do it, baby." Alfred grinned at Kiku, holding out two train tickets to the city. It was nearly sunset; the train was due to leave in an hour. He could see the hesitance in Kiku's eyes, and he knew that he was contemplating it all. Yeah, Alfred knew Kiku's family didn't take too kindly to the fact that their most promising son was in love with such an irrational guy (Alfred preferred the term "impulsive"), but Alfred loved Kiku and he wanted to run away with him. He knew this was a crazy idea. That's why he had it planned all out.

He had some money saved up, as did Kiku. He could see Kiku's suitcase packed out of the corner of his eye, ready to go. There shouldn't be anything that was keeping him from jumping out the window so they could finally be on their way out of this middle-of-nowhere town. They both deserved something better. So Alfred decided to take action, and only now was Kiku starting to get some second thoughts…

"Alfred, this is the single most craziest—"

"I prefer the term 'brilliant'…"

"—idea you've ever had." Kiku still wasn't getting into it.

"What has you scared, baby? We've had these tickets for a while now. We've planned this for weeks. Why now, when we're supposedly supposed to be going?" Alfred pouted at Kiku. He couldn't help but ask; this was really bumming him out… He really wanted to go through with this.

"Being caught. That's what scares me," Kiku confessed, sighing. "Besides. We don't know what we're going to do once we get there… We have no direction in what we're doing."

This is where Alfred grinned, from ear to ear. He knew exactly how to answer Kiku, who had suddenly become extremely pessimistic. "Oh, come on, baby. That's the excitement of it!" he exclaimed, taking Kiku's hands in his own. "I know you want to go… I can totally see it in your eyes. And that's the greatest thing about this: we  _don't_  know where we're gonna go. But then we do!"

Kiku just looked up at Alfred and cocked a confused eyebrow. "What?"

"Don't you get it, baby! It's  _love_ ," Alfred answered, as if the answer were seriously that obvious. " _Love_  is gonna tell us where we should go, whether it's a dark night, whether or not things get rough… Because we're so in love, we'll know just where we need to go because of that!"

Swallowing, Kiku just looked at Alfred as if he were insane. "Is that  _really_  how we're going to go about this?" he asked, incredulous. "No plans whatsoever after we get off the train?"

"Baby, you're not thinking spontaneously!" Alfred sighed; he really wanted Kiku to see his side of this. Didn't he understand just how much he was willing to put on the line so they could be together? He would do anything for Kiku… "Don't you know how much we could do? A whole world of possibilities is with us, no matter where we go. The road will be bright no matter where we go! We'll be flying with the birds! It doesn't matter what you say, because you know it's true."

There. Kind of an ultimatum. But there was no way Alfred was going to go without Kiku at his side. That was the only way this could work, is if they were together. They had enough love to fill the world; why not share it? Why not show everyone that they could run away together and still be happy and wild and free?

Alfred noticed Kiku weighing the possibilities in his mind; they both knew each other inside and out, and Alfred knew Kiku knew just what he was thinking. And Alfred also knew Kku's rational mind was thinking about long-term consequences, while his wild side was thinking about when this opportunity would arise again.

It wouldn't. It was now or never, and the sun was beginning to set. They had to get away,  _now_.

After biting his lip and contemplating for a few more minutes, Kiku knew he had to make his decision, and Alfred was all ears to hear it. Whether or not he said yes, Alfred would go with it. He loved Kiku that much.

"Let's do it," he said with a determined nod, squeezing Alfred's hands tight. "Let's go now." He got up, grabbing his suitcase.

Again, Alfred grinned, taking out the tickets and gripping them with his hand.

_Love will always tell us where to go…._

_**Hello My Name Is… Alfred.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you listen to the song? What did you think? Not just of the chapter, or the song, but just everything in general. Tell me, tell me, tell me! Trust me, I read all your reviews and I appreciate the time you took to write them~
> 
> ~Eliza


End file.
